I was interviewed by the Babyfacedassassin!!!

When I speak about my passions around positively changing individual and social trajectories, I use the term trajectories to speak of people’s paths, the road they travel along in the journey of life. Encompassing all that moves, ebbs and flows. Lifestyle, career, motivations, relationships, desires, families. Those webs and cycling wheels that keep us together and moving. With my background in social services and psychology my strongest passions lay in the trajectories of individual, community and society’s mental health and wellbeing.

Recently I was interviewed by the whole heartedly beautiful woman, mental health activist, author and life model, TheBabyFacedAssassin. She is a breath of fresh air and one of those people that appear in your life and that “ahhh yeah” moment appears and you realise you’re going in the right direction, you find mutual support and understanding and you get each other. I love Charlotte’s blog, I get sucked right into all the gritty material, all the wordcraft and wonderment. She is a woman of my heart, and a massive inspiration to me and my journey.

We spoke about why I have left Facebook, uncomfortable emotions, the importance of experience and the use of poetry and spoken word performance for self and others. To check out the interview, click here.

It’s the first time I have been interviewed deeply around my writing. And it was an amazing and inspiring process. We interviewed over Skype, so I had not a lot of time to deliberate and ‘prepare’ my responses, some thing as a writer I spend a lot of time doing. But this allowed me to just flow. Reading over what I had spoken was amazing. I cried. I was moved, and I can’t really pin point what moved me. Was it seeing words that had left my mouth crafted across a page? Was it The Babyfacedassassin’s way of structuring and the kind words she spoke about me? Was it, as I talk in the interview, the process of taking what is inside, outside, and processing it objectively?

What ever it was, was inspiring. And provided me with the opportunity to really look at why I write, why I am inspired by people, why I am passionate about narrative and creating poetry, why I love those around me, and myself, with unconditional positive regard.

As individuals, communities and society, our mental health and wellbeing is at the crux of our existence and I will always aim to nurture positivity in experience and depth of feeling.

Thank you Charlotte Claire, you inspire!!

2 weeks without Facebook

I have had my heart filled with beautiful feedback from people who have read my “Why I left Facebook” post. It is inspiring, to see how the use of words can fill me up so adequately with connection. One of the many reasons Facebook has been useful for me in the past.

I have also received feedback from people, about why they feel Facebook is beneficial to them, which I understand and concur. Those reasons of staying in contact, being connected across oceans, maintaining a social life when the bombardment of work, children, societies busyness allow no time to get out there in person.

I understand all these reasons… and have used Facebook for the past 5 or 6 years for these reasons.

I suppose I am writing this now to clarify that the reasons I choose to share my thoughts around Facebook and my association with it, have not been to discourage others, or bag it out. But to share, for me, why I am no longer using it.

Today marks 2 weeks with a deactivated account. And it has been a beautiful experience. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders the morning I awoke and remembered that I didn’t need to check and see how many notifications I had, I didn’t need to stalk my current crush. I had a moment of “oh, but what happens when I feel lonely?”, and reminded myself that loneliness is ok. That it would be temporary and that I could, rather than reach out for a ‘like’ on Facebook, I could walk down to the corner store and buy myself some chocolate and have a conversation with the old man behind the counter, or countless other interactions where I could look into some ones eyes and see them.

Facebook serves so many purposes, for so many people. Its a great tool. But I, personally became so caught up in it’s psychological web, that I forgot my psyche. I became lost in it’s ability to allow my desire for ‘likes’ to overcome my desire for self-acceptance and self-love.

Rather than read a book, or have a conversation, or write my uni assignment, I would automatically open Facebook, and find myself yearning engagement.

A friend, mentioned that the Machine Stops could really make us reflect upon all social media and electronic forms of communication. And I agree. And it has. I have thought about how maybe I am being a little hypocritical, I am still sending SMS, I use email frequently, I share photos on Instagram, have a twitter account, and share my thoughts on WordPress… but for me personally it has been Facebook that has sucked me into it’s vortex that goes beyond communication and connection and into a world of needing to be ‘liked’, the desire of acceptance from all 900+ ‘friends’, a constant stream of people engaging with ME. Me, me, me.

Have I had more face to face moments of human connectedness since leaving Facebook? Maybe no more than before my account was deactivated, but I have appreciated those moments more. I have allowed my senses to soak up all the stimuli. I have looked into eyes, caressed hair, listened to words lull me, hypnotic. And I have come back to me. Come back to understanding the importance of me, in my physical form, and how I respond and watch others respond to our human connection.

And that is a beautiful thing.